You are the love of my life - Jim Brickman

Sigh Youtube has too many stringent rules and copyrights.. Too bad as ive posted my messages in Youtube..

Have to make do with this instead lol...

COLBIE CAILAT - I never told you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YtzsUdSC_I&feature=channel

I wish someone would dedicate this song to me though, but judging from her character, i think it might be difficult..sigh.

Enjoy...


...

My 1st Video

My 1st video which i posted on youtube...i think its ok haha... Need abit of improvement though..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkJR802DhKE&feature=player_embedded

Expression - Beautiful relaxing piano music (Helen Jane Long)

Ive dedicated this to someone special....

Maybe you would like it too. Its relaxing :)

Expression - Helen Jane long

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmS_MxfJiCw&feature=player_embedded

Enjoy......

Strangers to ourselves - The mind can be a terrible thing

My apologies for bringing in such dry topics to some.

The Unconscious 

Unconscious thought forms 95% of all thought based on neurological research institution.

Learning to drive is a very good example. At first, we try to familiarize ourselves with the instruments in the car. We give a lot of attention to how we manipulate the steering wheel, the gas pedal, shifting gears, and so on... Then in time, after practice, our movement becomes instinctive. We can now let the car do the things we want it to do without giving it much thought. We are now using our unconscious mind do the driving and our attention is now on keeping an eye on the road, carefully trying to get to our destination safely.

While to most people it'll seem that what goes on inside of them is pretty straightforward, everyone does have an unconscious. This unconscious is a part of us that we aren't aware of, but which does influence much of our acts and feelings. Of lots of things we do or feel, we do not really know where they come from, although they feel compelling nevertheless.

Its when we open up our hearts to see things in a different light will we be able to notice that what we do today are as a result of our past experiences.

Most of our unconscious was formed during our childhood, from when we were a baby of a couple of months old. As a young child, we experience lots of things which are too much for us to comprehend and we usually try to suppress some of the associated feelings.
The experiences could be in the form of a death of a parent, strict family background, bullying, pampered, misunderstood, neglected and so forth.

During our upbringing, we need to learn to deal with other people and society. Learning the rules is a painful process, that leads to lots of suppression of feelings.


When we don't really understand why we are feeling something, apparently, we are not aware of some part of ourselves. It is unconscious mind talking to us.

We suppress feelings, trying not to have feelings that are unpleasant, negative, or uncomfortable, or when they are overwhelming. We might, for example, think it's weak to feel fear, and don't want to feel it because of that. Or we may be convinced it's wrong to be angry or to feel hatred, and because of that, we suppress these emotions. It may be unbearable to feel rejected or hurt. We want to protect ourselves from these feelings.
When we do that, we are making those feelings unconscious. In fact, feelings don't go away when we suppress them, they just go hidden. Although we are no longer aware of them, they are still influencing us unconsciously. These patterns are triggered by how we feel in the moment. Our behavior and reactions are being auto piloted by our unconscious feelings.

When we, for instance, experience a new situation that disappoints us, a pattern may come up from an old situation that made us feel disappointment. We then deal with the actual situation like we did in the old one. If we got angry about the disappointment earlier, we may now become angry again automatically, whether it makes sense or not.

The reason we don't notice this process of old suppressed memories influencing our current behavior, is that part of the memory is the suppression itself. We also repeat the pattern of suppression. Thus, we keep forgetting.

To control your unconscious mind, 1st you will need to understand where it all comes from and analyze the situation from a clean state of mind. Which brings us back to communication.

That's part of the reason sometimes we say we never really change who we really are but not until we really know who we are....

Will continue another time on ways to tap into your unconscious mind to see things in a different light.

Bert Chia

Ripples in the water - Dedicated & requested by Lan Sin

Ripples in the water - A small ripple can gain current and create a big effect

I was asked to write about promises last night because of a relationship strain. Am wondering where to start...

Ok...lets start by :

Save as Draft

FAITH & PROMISES

The definition of faith is to have complete confidence in a person or a plan.
Faith is believing completely without doubt on the things you cant see.

The definition of promise is a pledge or an assurance given by one person to another that he/she will act exactly as promised. The other person can rest assured that the promise will not be broken in under any circumstances. In this case, circumstances word is very significant. Because even if the promise is made in total sincerity, the circumstances are taken as an excuse for breaking them.

The breaking of a promise


The breaking of a promise will definitely hurt the other party. We kill the faith of the other party in humanity and its words. One must think about the value of the promise for the one to whom it was made. Why do we promise something to someone? Because both the parties agree that if the promise is broken, the other person will be hurt. Why is the promise accepted? The promise is accepted only if one who makes the promise is believed to be a truthful and honest person. No one believes upon the promises made by liars.

As this is for you, i will share with~

Why some men keep their promises and others don't

The word a man offers is his bond. It is believed that their are two types of men. There are the men that keep their promises and the ones whom do not. Once a person has amassed a specific amount of social experience, it is easier to spot the men who are serious and the ones who are simply playing the game.
The reasons why some men take promises more serious than others depends on a man's childhood, personality, maturity level and character. The reasons are endless and one size does not fit all. It could be one or a combination of the above.

We live our lives everyday using the laws of attraction.
To portray attraction to the opposite sex comes in many ways, may it be wealth, confidence, security etc, these are in fact subconscious energy to attract the one he is interested in.

Motives behind the attraction are extremely difficult to notice as we are sometimes too focus on what we want from the man. A player can be considered a master of psychology and body language, as they follow the rules of attraction, usually the person targeted are unable to tell the difference between true and false. This is a touch-base on a non-verbal promises(signals) received.

Relationship-courtship is what we call the honeymoon period. Usually the couples will make many promises to each other verbally, probably some in the form of a contract which we don't see nowdays.

The promises made are the bond of the relationship.Some promises are also made out of desperation to conform to their partners will in order to gain acceptance. Once when the courtship touches their one year mark, theres where communication plays an important role to build trust, in order for trust to take place, you need to have faith in your partner.

An example i would like to use is about Bill & Amy.

The couple met, they had a great time, Bill and Suzy made a commitment to each other, they said no matter what happens they will stick together in good or bad, they made goals and dreams together, they will always share their feelings for one another so that they will always have a common ground to hold their love together.

As time passed, Bill was on the verge of taking up a new career, and things was moving very slowly for him and this became a burden to Amy. Bill realizes the burden Amy had to take because he was financially tight and he asked Amy how did she felt about things and the burden she had to go through. Amy said to Bill, he only had to work hard because they wanted to build a future together and mentioned she believed in him. So Bill made a plan to switch back to what he did best but not before he gave his current job a try. It was a 3 months plan and he asked her for sometime to be able to switch back to what he does best. And as usual Amy said she trusted him and loved him..

However before the period of 3 months was up, things started to change. She became frustrated without his knowledge and she spent less time with Bill, whenever Bill wanted to see her she would say time is a luxury they do not have, she started going out late in the nights meeting different man. As Bill is usually not the jealous type because he trusted her he allowed her the few outings but when it became so frequent he generally got worried and asked her why did she change. Amy mentioned that she did that was because she wanted to build a future for both of them as she was in a mlm company which encourages the members to meet as many people as possible. However by doing so, she saw that the grass on the other side is greener because she was meeting with more successful people out there. Slowly as the pressure build up he pressured her to decide on what she wanted, the relationship or the things she currently loves doing because it displeases him. And as you know, she chooses the break-up because she thought he wasn't doing anything to build a better future for both of them. She lost trust, He was blind. Broken faith and promises.

So from this brief story we can see that in actual fact MISUNDERSTANDING are common mistakes which breaks a relationship and if u notice my previous post, communication and trust are one of the bond which holds a relationship together. Do not, i repeat do not give hints to any man because man are logical creatures and they do not thrive on emotions to make a judgment.. The best way to communicate to a man is through sharing it with them your thoughts and concerns tactfully. Find a place where its quiet and peaceful every once in awhile, work on issues that will build a stronger foundation for your relationship.  

Good luck..... talk to your man.

A small ripple which created a waterfall.

CYBERJAYA - WHO WANTS A PIECE OF IT?

My Club House

 

 

Renting out to students can be a big headache..Clog pipings, dirty walls and futhermore a new washing machine.
Feel like selling the whole thing away since i wont be back to Malaysia for sometime. Anyone interested in a Cyber Ria Condo at Cyberjaya. Please contact my email link. Its still a good investment for rental returns.

Everything happens for a reason.

Everything happens for a reason. Every action has a reaction. Always remember that whats meant to be will always find a way to come about. 
Its Sad when even close friends looks only in the conclusion and not the reason.

A Beautiful Movie if you have yet to watch.

Story
A down-on-his luck father, whose insurance won't cover his son's heart transplant, takes the hospital's emergency room hostage until the doctors agree to perform the operation.

Surprisingly he came out a hero....

I love this story not because of the consequences he accepted but because of his dedication to his loved one. 

He did whatever he could to talk things through with the doctors and agents but when all of what he have done didn't work out he made a choice.... you got to watch it to know the finale... 

The secret - Communication with men

Secret #1
It is much easier for men to talk when they see the clear aim of conversation
Starting conversation with a man, do you notice him to be stressed and confused? He seems to lose control of situation, and play a game without knowing the rules. A woman is likely to start conversation with one of the following phrases:
- Let’s talk
- Dear, I think we have to discuss our relationships.

These expressions are too vague, as they don’t give any direction of conversation. This is how you give birth to men’s fear and uncertainty. He will start to argue with you, trying to postpone conversation, or to show absolute absence of interest.

Solution:
1. When you talk to a man, let him know exactly what you want. Be more concrete, give him a kind of agenda. For example:
- Dear, let’s talk tonight. We didn’t have enough time when your mum was here last week. We should discuss how to make her next visit better.
At least now he knows what it is all about, has more time to think it over, and feels more comfortable.
2. Ask him questions, but not such short-spoken ones, as: “How is your job?” The answer will be “Fine.” You’d better ask: “What about your new project, is it really as difficult as you’ve thought?”
3. Don’t use HINTS, be clear. Men prefer facts. Be sincere and direct to let him know your thoughts and express his point of view with great pleasure.

Secret #2
Man thinks to himself and gives the final answer.
Hiding his fears and uncertainty, your man will never give a rash answer, which is likely to be incorrect. He will not pronounce a word until he comes to the final decision. That’s why you may frequently hear “I need to think about it”.

Woman thinks aloud! The problem is that men direct their efforts towards the result of finding solutions, while women pay more attention to the process itself. Example: Most of women discuss daily plan during breakfast: “I have so many things to do today; during lunch I’m going to visit hairdresser and take my suit from the dry cleaner’s, then I have to meet with a new client. Oh, my god, I have an appointment with Mary at five, taxi will cost me a fortune!” Man says: “I’m married to my job.”

Man thinks that woman talks too much, he can express something in 3 words, while she needs 300. He doesn’t understand that discussing of a problem is a part of taking decision process for her; he thinks that you are not able to find solution by yourself and feels obliged to find it for you.

Solution:
1. You have to discuss this secret with him in order to make him understand what it is like to “think aloud”.
2. Don’t forget to find out whether he would like to discuss the issue now or needs time to think it over.
3. Explain that making complaints is your way to release stress and find the right solution. Otherwise, he will feel responsible for making decision for you.

Secret #3
It’s difficult for men to express their emotions.
Why is it so difficult for men to share problems with women?
In the world of emotions men lose control over situation, being not the owners of their status anymore. This feeling put their emotional state under threat, as they don’t have enough skills and experience to cope with it.

Women consider men to be insensible and insensitive. It is important to understand that men callousness is a myth. They are very sensible and sensitive creatures, sometimes even more than women are.

You expect the man to clarify his feelings as fast as you do. Most of women have faster emotional reaction, so if a man is not screaming, it doesn’t mean he has no feelings.

If you suppose that a man with high IQ is as subtle a master in expressing his feelings, as he is concerning his job, you are wrong. People should learn to improve their intellectual abilities, feelings and ways of expressing themselves.
If you want to speak the same language with your partner, be patient and lead him your way. Learn a lesson from communication with the opposite sex to achieve better results and derive pleasure from them. Understanding of these 3 secrets will help you to build better relationships in you private and everyday life.

Tropicana City - Bad Ass Coffee

How men and women don't "get it" about each other.

Very interesting article i found in physiology. Sometimes in a relationship you always need to be on your toes. Even when your partners said they believe you but sometimes its the other way round. Sometimes its difficult to tell how your partners really feels so its good to spend time communicating every once in awhile. Dont wait or postpone sharing your real feelings because once it builds up to your tolerant level, it might just diminish off the attraction level for one another.

This Story might be useful for some.....

Susan swears it wasn't an affair even though there was another man involved. It was, rather, an epiphany. And the other man? The plumber. The plumber came to fix a leaky faucet and she offered him a coffee. When they sat across from each other at the kitchen table, she talked about her life and he listened and seemed to find what she had to say interesting. He laughed at her jokes and she felt alive for the first time in a very long time. And then he left. That was all. But that was enough.
Later that afternoon, she made up her mind, "I can't do this anymore." She told Bill when he came home from work, "Bill, it's over." He was dumbfounded. He'd heard her complaints over the year but didn't take them that seriously. He thought all wives complain. He doesn't drink, he's not a womanizer, he doesn't gamble, he'd never laid a hand on her, he's home every evening, he's a good provider. Why?!?

For years she'd been trying to get his attention. Weekends, he needed to recover from his brutal week at work. He didn't want to go shopping with her. As much as he loves his kids, he didn't want to go to the zoo. He was desperate to relax and unwind. Plus, he'd brought some work home from the office.
She never understood the pressure he felt being the primary breadwinner for the family, having all that responsibility on his head. He was working like a dog to try to get ahead and sock away some security so they could have some fun. But that was for later. Much later - when he would retire. And she just couldn't wait anymore.

And then there was the issue of sex. It had long ago become a tug-of-war with him wanting more and her wanting to be left alone. He'd look across the bed at her sleeping form in the middle of the night and feel hungry, wishing he could be spontaneous and wake her up but knowing that she'd be angry and shut him down. It was humiliating for him to feel like a beggar with his own wife. It hadn't always been like that, at least not before the kids came.
On her side, she walked around feeling guilty, counting the days until she knew she'd better make time for sex or else it would cause a problem. And then, when they did it, she'd feel off the hook for a week or so, until the pressure between them built up again. She felt he didn't understand what was important to her. If only he'd be romantic, bring her a little gift or flowers, make time for her, she'd be more in the mood. Hell, even if he helped more with the kids or the housework, she'd find it easier to get turned on. But she felt resentful that he wanted her to do all the work, run the show and also to be sexy and please him.

He knew she didn't understand how important sex was for him. It wasn't just the orgasm part, it was the human contact that calmed him down and helped him feel normal so he could concentrate on work. She didn't know how distracted he could become in those long days before their infrequent sexual encounters and how it affected everything - his mood, his sleep, and even his performance at work. He hated himself for that - it made him feel like an animal - but there was no way around it. He needed sex to feel sane, to feel like a man.
Over the years, she had wanted them to go to marriage counseling but he thought it was a waste of money. Nothing was that wrong - they should try to fix it themselves. And they would try to be kinder to each other, to go out to a movie, but the resentment was just below the surface and those efforts would never last. By the time she said, "It's over," her feelings for him had dripped away until there was nothing left. She knew he was a good man and she didn't want to hurt him, but she was suffocating inside, longing for someone to talk to her, for someone to laugh with her, for someone to find her interesting and show her love. She knew Bill loved her, but it wasn't enough and once the fire had gone out in her, no amount of blowing on it could spark it up again.
So when the plumber left, she took a long hard look at herself in the mirror and realized that she wanted more out of life, that she had some good years left and that she'd reached the end of the road with Bill.

Now it was his turn to beg to go to marriage counselling. He quickly found the name of someone to see and made an emergency appointment. In the therapist's office, he told her he finally realized now how unhappy and lonely she'd been, raising the kids with him in the background. He got it now. He'll change. He meant it. But the session only served to convince her that the man sitting on the other side of the sofa was virtually a stranger and not a man she could ever desire again. It was too late.
So this is a cautionary tale. To you married men out there, take it seriously when your wife tells you that she's unhappy and needs something more. Turn to her, look her in the eye and say this, "Tell me what's on your mind." Don't immediately defend yourself or brush it off or give instant solutions. Look at her and listen to her and think to yourself, "This is important. I don't want to be like Bill."

And you married women out there, you have a role to play in helping your husband understand your frustration, but also to try to understand his reality, as well. If he doesn't listen, find a way to say it in a tone that he's more likely to respond to. He will tune you out if you talk to him only with irritation and annoyance. Reach out to him and let him know that you appreciate all he does for the family. When he feels you see his efforts, he'll be more likely to be open to your concerns.
I'm a marriage counsellor and it breaks my heart when Bill and Susan come to my office because I know that if they'd crossed my threshold a few years earlier, their marriage could have had a different outcome. A happier one, plumber or no plumber.